I need some advice on trying to come out to my parents. I am currently out to my sibling, grandparents, aunts and uncles as a trans man. However I'm not out to my mum and dad. My dad is the kinda guy that's like "idc as long as you're happy and not hurting yourself" so he would be fine to come out to. However my mum has expressed a distaste towards trans people.
Back when I was 14 and trying to come out to her, she said we could talk about it when I turned 18 and she would try to be more accepting. I am now 18 and I have become anxious about trying to talk to her due to her expressing distaste, even though she is now on medication. Does anyone have any advice about this that might help and make it go possibly a bit better??
Btw I don't have any friends or family close to where I live that I can go and stay at if things go wrong.
#Coming out advice
proven egret
velvet prairie
As a person who came out to their parents without thinking about it, here’s some advice:
First, you don’t want to be obvious with it. Especially if you are suspicious that your mom won’t accept you. You should bring up the subject discreetly, like if you’re having a conversation with her, try steering the direction of the conversation and bring up some queer-related stuff. Then, ask her what she thinks of queer people/culture. If all goes well or she does not continue to show her distaste, then go ahead and come out. But if it doesn’t, my best advice for you is honestly to just wait.
I have heard of so many horror stories of people coming out to their parents like this (one parent is accepting and the other is not) and it never bodes well for the familial relationship. Neither for you nor your parents. I know you want to get this off your chest as soon as possible, but waiting seems to be the best option. I’d advise you to wait until you either have the chance to move out or have atleast a semblance of actual financial control over your own life to come out. Of course, that’s just the worst case scenario. I don’t think your family will be split up because of you being trans, and that’s honestly just me being a melodramatic teen, so I suggest you follow my advice in the first paragraph, as that seems way more realistic.
However, in the end, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you. I’m just a stranger on the other side of the screen, so you don’t have to follow my advice. I’m just giving advice based on my personal experience, which is not so dissimilar to yours, but with some key differences.
proven egret
I feel that my mum will try to debate on queer topics, esp because I tried that method before and it turned into her trying to tell me I was blatantly wrong about the slur for intersex people not being a medical term anymore. So I think I'll just wait until I'm able to move out to try and come out again
velvet prairie
I feel that my mum will try to debate on queer topics, esp because I tried that ...
Good luck to you then!!
proven egret
Thank you