#I just want to be put first for once (VENT)

59 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

balmy perch
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I am in a friendship group of 5 (me & 4 others (L1, L2, E and S).
I used to be really close with L1, but I seem to be drifting apart from her because she seems much closer to L2 now. E and S are already really close, so I just feel like I'm non-existent most of the time.
I feel like they think I'm too loud or being too touchy. Little do they know that linking my arm with theirs is my way of grounding myself and showing my platonic affection for them. They wouldn't know because they don't care to ask, since I am the 'happy friend', the one who always is okay and the one you can vent to.

I feel like everything I say or do with them is ignored, laughed at, or I get told to shut up and get given funny looks. I'm just trying to relate to them in the best way I know how, which is through jokes and trying to join in conversations that they're having, which always seem to turn dry and finish quickly as soon as I join them.

But then again, I could be overthinking it. I just feel so hurt and angry, like I could just snap at them at any moment, but I hold myself back because I don't want to affect the friendship. The one time I did express my feelings about my unhappiness with them, I was met with absolute silence. So I laughed it off and tucked it away inside myself again. It's making me irritable and overthink and I'm beginning to lash out at my family because of it.

I just want friends who will chose me and who will listen to me and try to make conversations with me. Is that too hard to ask for?
(Sorry for the yap, I just needed to get it out. If anyone has any advice on what I can do or just say a few words for comfort, it would be much appreciated <3)

queen totem
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hey i just read whatever you said here.
totally get you man. i’m going through a similar situation and whatever you’re going through is valid. honestly even i thought i was overthinking but i just realised that i wasn’t and whatever was going around was true.
i would just suggest you to try to meet new people and get perspectives, just like i did. it really helped me. i’m not sure if it will help you but maybe focusing on yourself and your well being is something you need to do.

or i would also suggest you to talk about it with them cause the only gap here is communication and if neither of you are communicating what’s happening it’s going to get worse.

whatever the outcome, ill be here to help! do take care of yourself. i hope you find someone who will see you the way you are, like an important friend.

balmy perch
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I can't really find new people IRL, since there are like popular/unpopular groups at my high school. I find it really easy to connect with people online though, so I have good friends on there.

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I've talked to my parents about it and they can see it's going downhill but there's not much they or I can do about it

queen totem
queen totem
queen totem
balmy perch
balmy perch
queen totem
queen totem
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i’m glad you’re doing well

balmy perch
queen totem
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your welcome! also it was nice talking to you. do you mind if i add you as my friend?

teal marsh
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how is the situation now?
Has anything changed?

balmy perch
balmy perch
teal marsh
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ok

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good luck!

balmy perch
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[I'll update in 6 hours]

teal marsh
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ok

balmy perch
teal marsh
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see u in 6 hours

balmy perch
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<33

balmy perch
# teal marsh see u in 6 hours

Update:

So I still haven't confronted my friend group about my feelings about their indifference. I still feel like I'm not part of the conversations, and that I'm not someone to look forward to having around. When I first saw L1 in the morning, she basically didn't acknowledge me and went straight to greeting L2. E was there with us but was talking with another of her friends (E is in my friend group and then is part of another friend group), and S was with his boyfriend somewhere, so I was kind of just standing there awkwardly. I tried not to be too touchy and I made sure I was quieter today, but it just feels like I'm muting my personality and losing myself. I don't really have other friends I can hang out with because of the unpopular/popular groups at my high school, and I don't really know what to do anymore. I'm just so tired of being everyone's last choice.

teal marsh
balmy perch
teal marsh
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really?

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wow

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i cannot believe that

balmy perch
lilac panther
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I was in a situation just like this before. My opinion: They are almost definently talking about you behind your back. The best thing you could do is say "Fuck you" to the social hierarchy at your school and go make some real friends. Or, (not a good option at all btw) you can wait until the pain of them ignoring you and pushing you away becomes too much and you crash out on them and yell at them, making them either change or leave you and you have to make new friends anyways. Since you've said that you've already tried talking to them, these are the best options i can think of. hope this helps in some way :3

teal marsh
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im shit at advice

lilac panther
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tyy im only good at giving advice with experiences ive had b4 tho :]

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(Unfortunately i chose the second option and they started a rumor abt me that I was selling || hard drugs ||

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and ruined all my minor friendships :\

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so i strong suggest the first option b4 trying to talk to them again :3

teal marsh
teal marsh
balmy perch
balmy perch
lilac panther
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js don't let them hurt ur feelings if they turn out to b fake wishing u luck

balmy perch
lilac panther
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ohhh dam

teal marsh
balmy perch
# teal marsh i cannot believe that youve been friends for that long and theyre just ignoring ...

Someday it's worse than others. I used to be really close with L1, but then I met L2 and introduced her to L1 and now it feels like L2 is replacing me....
Like if we go to the mall or smt, it's always "I want to sit next to L1!" from L2. E and S just sit next to eachother anyways, and I have to sit alone. I don't think they realise how much it's affects me but I'm beginning to clench my teeth DAILY to stop myself from losing it in front of them.
I also talked to my counsellor today but it was about other stuff.

balmy perch
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You'd think they'd stop by now, but nope...

teal marsh
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they havent stopped?

balmy perch
teal marsh
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wow

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have you had a serious talk about it?

balmy perch
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Ikr. I don't know what to do anymore.

balmy perch
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I barely speak about my feelings around them.

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So when I do they don't take it seriously.

teal marsh
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ok maybe take a short break from them