#Homophonic and transphobic mom

8 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

misty valley
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I have a very homophonic and transphobic mom and family and she keeps pressuring me to come out while I keep trying to be masc without telling her I'm trans. She keeps saying that I'm losing myself because I hang around "gay kids" I really wanna be out but I don't feel like I'm ready and she keeps pressuring me to stay true to myself and be cis and act more like her. Im definitely not ready and comfortable around her but would coming out to her make my life a lil easier? She also claims to have a "safe space" and would love me the same even though she treats me different, spreads my business to my entire family, and makes fun of me in my face all the time and or behind my back. I don't think it's safe and I really need help on this. (Sorry for venting and the paragraph).

misty valley
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Yes please I don't want to keep living in fear and I also don't wanna keep losing people in the process it hurts

misty valley
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Are you sure I don't want to push my problems and make you uncomfortable

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Yea that's cool and sorry about that

visual pollen
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This is a safe space to vent so dont worry about being a burden, i think the thousands here can hold it lmao. More than that though you don't have to tell her anything, especially regarding your personal identity and if you really want to do so when you know you have a security blanket you can fall to, if it helps try minimising your contact with her or at the very least don't give her the time of day when she says anything you aren't comfortable with (or if you prefer confront here with how it makes you uncomfortable)

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also try talking to your close and trustworthy friends/family members about it (you don't even have to do it in a way that outs yourself if you dont want), being able to talk always helps (for me and most of my friends at least). If you really dont have anyone write your feelings out (preferabbly somehwere your mum can't easily acess e.g. a google docs that is in your personal account). Either way it should help you sort out your emotions which in turn might make you a little more sure of what you want to do going forward

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and if it helps also try doing other tasks that give you a little more autonomy (yay free will + good chemicals from doing things) just maybe studying 10-30min more for your favourite subject, doing a quick workout in the morning or right before bed or indulging in a hobby (personally like to write down a insect species on a notebook whenever i have a free day)

misty valley