Mental health is plummeting

[quiet sand]

I am 13, and my mental health is plummeting because I’m gay and hardly anyone in my school is gay or bisexual. I feel stuck in a bubble and the last 4 guys I have liked are straight. It’s killing me. I also found a hot guy but he thinks I’m ugly (he didn’t say it but I know the signs). I don’t know what to do anymore. All of my friends seem to have someone they love yet I’m the odd one out who has no one and I think I never will. I also have the most homophobic family ever, saying, “Being gay is a sin and it’s disgraceful!” or “It says in the Bible that laying with the same gender is a sin!” I’m losing my mind and I tried to get a vape from my best friend yet it seems fate doesn’t want me to have one. I would be forced to go on a literal holy arc until I’m “not gay anymore” as if I can change my sexuality.

[weary spade]

Sounds like fate is preventing you from inhaling metal into your lungs. It’s not an easy habit to break, so better not get into it in the first place.

[quiet sand]

I hate fate then, continue.

[weary spade]

Yikes. I’m sorry your parents are… much less in ideal in their response to your sexuality. As it sounds like your parents are the type to send you to one of those straightening places, in your situation, it would probably be best if possible to maybe hide your sexuality from your parents. I realize that’s the last thing you want to hear but in a scenario like this, the alternative can be risk. Again though, I’m sorry you have parents that are against it. It always astonishes me how parents can hate the thing they created and cared for over something like sexuality…

Also when you say that one guy thinks you’re ugly, have you ever actually interacted with him, or are you just purely drawing assumptions?

[quiet sand]

I interacted with him yes, I mustered up courage I didn’t have just to be pushed away. He said that I was like a 4/10 and stopped talking to me. I don’t understand why people think I’m ugly, maybe it’s true.

I don’t know anymore. I don’t want to live anymore because I just know I’ll be lonely forever.

[weary spade]

Are you even in high school yet?

Just trying to get a sense so I can know what the standard dating situation would be

[weary spade]

I know it can feel like you’ll never find anyone (I never have and I’m almost and adult) but remember, middle and high school dates aren’t what your entire life will reflect off of. Just because you don’t have someone now doesn’t mean you never will. The only thing that will guarantee you have no one is if you end it before the chance ever arises. Life is just like and endless waiting game, waiting month after month, year after year until the situation changes. It’s like you’re going through hell. But things will change, there always exists a chance for things to get better, so I guess try clinging on to that if nothing else. It sucks having no one to form relationships (for me it certainly does) but persist and one day you will find one.

[quiet sand]

Middle school

[quiet sand]

Thank you, you’re more supportive than my own family

[heavy harness]

Okay I am just gonna tell you I fell for a bunch of straight guys and well I just took a break and valued friendships but I know it can get lonely that way. I am a Christian and I am bi and I believe its not a sin since god loves everyone. You are being really hard on yourself I would just say wait a bit and good things will surely come your way

[quiet sand]

thank you. It really does seem lonely. But I really do need reassurance of if I actually like theee people, what does it feel like to fall for someone, I don’t understand it fully.

I don’t want it to be delusion

[heavy harness]

I know that feeling can be tough I definitely needed reassurance a couple times and I know how it feels to be blind in situations like this as well but from what I am hearing you dont seem to be to bad of a person at all

[quiet sand]

I’m really not a bad person I don’t think. I feel like I’m stuck in a box, blind and deaf, just sitting there waiting for whatever comes.

[heavy harness]

Well I will tell you people always are 10 times harder on themselves then they should be its human instinct. I have had my moments where I feel like I am not able to date and I wanted to give up but I never have. You dont need to rush anything I know having these things are nice but dont treat yourself that badly to be a low grab cause you are much more than that. People like people who value themselves so I would say bring yourself out I know that sounds weird but take yourself out and treat yourself good so you will be ready to have great relationships with other people

[quiet sand]

you’re wise. thank you.

[heavy harness]

No problem if you need anyone to talk to you can always come back here and my dms are always open

[heavy harness]

Hope you have a good day or night and I hope everything turns out good for you I wish you the best