tw:sucide,threats?

[full leaf]

i just dont know how to feel.im so unbelievably confused,i dont understand my moms hatred for trans people or any queer in general.i keep getting called her daughter,obviously i didnt think shed accept me but how can someone puke out so much hatred?she threatens to kill me or kill herself if i ever turn out to be trans,which i already did.ive been struggling with self identity for so long and i felt so much relief when i finally came to terms of who i was and years of feeling suicidal.thought i gained hope for the future.i wanted to live and i was surprised!i know there wont be a future for me if i dont medically transition.and i just dont understand,mom,i will not be a criminal or someone who hurts people or academically unsuccessful so why would you rather die than see me live happily?you cant just threaten me there and then,say such bitter words and then come kiss my forehead,tell me that you love me-i get so confused so guilty.if you hate me hate me properly.i mean i understand that she is confused,its all new,she wasnt raised to accept these stuff,religion culture all against it but cant she make a little sacrifice for me?i want to live.

[willow falcon]

DM please :3

[wheat wind]

People have a way of throwing suicide around as a threat sometimes unfortunatly. They know that no one wants something bad to happen to someone they care about and take advantage of the fact. At the end of the day though, something as extreame as that is most likely a threat and not much more. I think parents just really struggle to imagine the human being that they have cared for as anything else besides the identity they imagine you having. At the worst, you'll have to wait for the escape of adulthood. Point is, don't let others guilt you into not being you.