Tw: suicide + sh | Pridecord | Page 1

i have a friend who is dating this person, i tried to be nice to them but they didn't answer really answer me so i sorta gave up. I never liked them bc my boyfriend didn't and he had a good reason. Sometime either this week or last week we got in an argument over a bot command and they got mad and called me immature and stupid. They made me feel really worthless and useless and ||I relapsed on sh after two months of not doing it and started planning my death||, i also left a server that they were in that actually meant a lot to me. My boyfriend tried to stand up for me but they just went and got mad at him. Fast foward to today, i dm'ed them to apologize, i didn't really mean it but it was the right thing to do. Apparently they though i was trying to mend with them and told me to not try to mend and then blocked me, which i wasn't....i told my friend who said that first impressions are big for them, which didn't make sense cause i tried to be nice at first but they told me that they never liked me. One of my boyfriends hates their guts, and i've heard that my other boyfriend is friends with them...i dont wanna cut off my boyfriend or my friend, especially bc my friend has saved my life before but idk what to do.....||i now cant stop doing sh because i relapsed and there nothing to work for and all i need to do if i decide to leave is write my notes. I dont wanna tell my therapist or basically anyone i know how i feel bc i dont wanna burden them, i used to have a friend that checked up on me but he hasn't been online for a while....my mom and dad dont really support me for being trans......and im just so tired of everything||

#Tw: suicide + sh