#Trans? (TW: Suicide, transphobia and homophobia mentioned)

11 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

slow flame
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(If you want to know about me see my earlier post https://discord.com/channels/1077258761443483708/1345186387376476230)

I thought I was genderfluid. A few years ago I was on tik tok a lot, I got sucked down the alt-right pipeline, I had transphobic and homophobic views. In december 2023 I deleted it, I felt so happy for the first time in a long time. Then last year I found out I was bi and genderfluid, but over the last month or two I've been in a very rough patch, and I think it's because I might be trans, I've thought about asking my immediate family to use a different name and I was thinking about cross dressing, but I just feel ashamed, I mean I really want to do it but I just can't shake the feeling that my family will think I'm weird. Over this rough patch, the amount of times I've held stuff to my wrist is in the double digits, as I'm typing this I have a stanley blade dismantled on my bed. I'm just so confused and I hate it, I just wish I was born a girl or found out before puberty.

Please, if anyone has advice please put it below

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When I first thought I was genderfluid I was very closeted and masc presenting, then when I got comfortable with it I became much more fem presenting, whenever I started a new game like ghost recon breakpoint I would make a female character, it felt kind of weird at first, I would hide it, whenever someone came into my room I would pause or tab out because I felt ashamed, but then it felt nice, the happiest I felt in a while, I still hid it when anyone came in though, and now I just dont feel like a guy at all anymore

fervent nimbus
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thats pretty much the same with me especially the last part of your first paragraph. I can’t really help you, but just know, your not alone

slow flame
fervent nimbus
fervent nimbus
slow flame
fervent nimbus
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Your farther than me with all this… i still dont know if im trans or gender-fluid… i think im trans but idk. All i know is that im one of them… its taking me 3.5 years to find out 😭

slow flame
slow flame
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Thank you for the response. I've told my mum, but she's on holiday right now. I've told her that I want to look intk getting on puberty blockers when she gets home, until I figure out who I am and then we could explore other options from there like getting HRT.

Thankfully, my mum and stepdad have always been very supportive of me, my sister is lesbian or bi, my other sister is bi, and I'm bi, they have always been accepting of all of us.

The thought of conciling makes me want to rip my skin off but I will go if I can't get affirming care otherwise.