I'm Transgender FTM, already have my pronouns and new name picked out to my friends online but no one in my family actually knows but my sister who I have friended on discord but she doesn't say anything, Ive been thinking about coming out for a while because at this point, hearing my deadname and wrong pronouns physically makes me ill now and want to go by my new name and pronoun. The thing is, Im pretty young, 13, and most people invalidate younger kids ect for like being confused and just gender envious and that its not valid at their age, but I've known since I was 9-10, already going by this name and pronouns at that age on some platforms, so Im, worried I'll get backlash for that too. Another thing is, I live in a very religious place, and my whole family is mormon. My grandparents are the most mormon and are homophobic, transphobic, ect, my mom not so much- shes dated a women (and got disowned for it) has gay friends, but I don't think she knows anyone thats transgender, she has even said she doesn't get the whole transgender thing, but shes been told if she was one she would understand so maybe she just doesn't understand, which sounds supportive but she also actively says lots of homophobic and transphobic things so I don't know if I should come out or not. I don't even think she would use he/him and Toby for me, so I don't know if it'd do anything. Maybe I just wait a few years until I'm older? I'm not sure but I know this isn't gender envy and that I'm transgender FTM, and I'm gay as well so I'd need to come out as that after I come out as trans because if I come out know, shell think Im lesbian and like girls because she doesn't know Im transgender, but if I come out as transgender and gay I think it'll cause problems, but I doubt she'll believe me about the transgender thing, and I already know that all the rest of my family will void me for it and hate me so I don't know what I should do about it sorry about this giant ramble I just need genuine advice
#I don't know if I should come out or not
oak flax
quartz belfry
Hey hey listen you don't have to necessarily come out at your age or this exact moment just prepare and what ever they say.. Just be yourself and be calm, have someone there like a friend or sibling that understands to support you in coming out.. I'm never coming out because I'm gonna get disowned but for you.. Be confident and be yourself❤
oak flax
ok ty 💚 I'll try that but I don't know if I'll get the courage, I think I'll wait a bit till I'm exactly sure about everything thank you for the advice,
quartz belfry
No problem hon❤ ((I call everyone hon
oak flax
its ok I don't mind petnames or names like that dw!!
analog plinth
No matter what, you are not alone, Toby. 🖤
There are a lot of people out here who get it, who will cheer you on, who are so proud of you just for being yourself. Me included.
You’re doing everything right by taking care of yourself and listening to what you need.
I'm here for you if you want to talk more about possible ways to handle it, or if you just want support.
Would you want me to help you come up with a little “plan” or “options list” for if/when you decide to come out? (No pressure at all!) 🌟