#(TW: SH)

34 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

sacred timber
#

Recently, I've been feeling really really down.
I have feeling that no one gives a flying fuck about me.

I also do not feel comfortable in my home because I am scared that I will accidentally tell my mum that I am genderfluid which will fuck everything up and I have a big big feeling she is transphobic.

Not to fucking mention, I have exam week starting tomorrow which im fucking stressed and scared for

I really have the itch to just relapse

wraith yew
#

While I have very little knowledge of what the situation is in your case, there is normally at least one person who cares about you. Often time's unless an action displaying such care is activly occuring, I can feel as if this care is nonexistant. It doesn't help that if you have anyone who cares, it's normally not very apparent unless things get bad. Still, there is always someone, maybe someone who you don't even know yet. For example, people here care, why else would we have a place to help with such things? It can be very, VERY hard to remember many times but if you can, I recommend you at least try to remember that fact.

stray bane
#

Hey don't worry u got every in here and u may do good on the test you never know and ik how u feel not being comfortable in ur own home I'm not either bc of my siblings and that I even have people who know my address bc it was leaked when I was in an argument with a lot of people so I didn't feel safe and I had a very hard time not trying to relapse but I ended doing it bc I couldn't calm down and I didn't want my parents to walk in finding me like that they still don't know bout it and I still feel unsafe in my home but that most from my siblings but I can feel u my parents (if they remember) only know bout me being bisexual they don't know bout me being non bianry but then again I'm good at hiding things like that

wraith yew
#

I'm curious, do you have concrete evidence that your mom is transphobic, or is it just an assumption? Of course, there's no way to really know that safely protects you if the reaction is bad so I suppose it's hard to find out. Still, how would you describe the relationship with your mother. Is it already a tense one, where anything would only further stretch it? Or is it one that could generally be considered as "descent," perhaps enough that it can be tested slightly?

#

As for exams, they can be stressful, but remember that at the end of the day, they a) should in theory only include stuff you have already learned but more importantly b) they only result in numbers on paper. There exists no test, and most likely never will, that accurately reflects and individual. So you should never feel that the quality of a test is the quality of yourself.

sacred timber
sacred timber
sacred timber
wraith yew
sacred timber
#

anyways, now I am even more upset

#

because 2 YEAR 11 BOYS IN MY SCHOOL BROUGHT A FUCKING WATER GUN (I HAVE BEEN HAVING ISSUES WITH THEM FOR AROUND 5 YEARS NOW) INTO SCHOOL AND STARTED SHOOTING WATER AT ME ON PURPOSE

#

I gen jst might prob relapse.

sacred timber
wraith yew
sacred timber
wraith yew
#

Did they get in any trouble for it? (I’m not gonna pretend that schools are good at enforcing rules)

sacred timber
#

idk

wraith yew
#

Were they just targeting you?

#

Regardless, I’m sorry about that

sacred timber
wraith yew
#

Dang. Have you ever tried talking with anyone or do you not think that would really help at all? (There's unfortunatly not much you can do in that aspect I suppose)

sacred timber
wraith yew
#

Yeah, I kind-of assumed such was the case. Stuff like that is rarely dealt with unfortunatly...

sacred timber
#

Yeah

Also.. I crossdressed, my dad walked in and now my laptop has been taken, and uhm

#

I've relapsed

wraith yew
sacred timber
wraith yew
#

Why.

#

Tell me something you’ve done to deserve that hatred.

sacred timber
#

Idk

wraith yew
#

So what do you hate about yourself?

#

You still there?

sacred timber
#

Sorry I'm just gonna try to sleep.