#Lil rant ig, any suggestions/advice/support would be appreciated ^^

7 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

dire bramble
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Hey, I'm Rook (or you can call me Rue)
Imma rant :< If you read, thank you for taking the time to do so ^^
~
OMFG I'm swamped with schoolwork ALREADY and school starts again tmrw and I'm so stressed now 😭 (I'm 16, turning 17 and in my second to last year of school)
I have a math exam on Tuesday, and I have a huge Information Literacy report due on Friday which I have to write about 2,000 words for, plus I have photography homework and a whole bunch of wood-carving to do for art class- and I feel like, whenever I get comfortable with a class or smt, the urge to procrastinate just overtakes me and then I stuff around not doing my work and then I fall behind and screw myself over and then I become irritable and get into arguments with my parents.

My dad sometimes teaches at my school and he nearly always checks in with my teaches to see home I'm going in class, which I think is rude, and then he tells my mum and they begin an argument and I'm just like I KNOW I'M BEHIND IN THAT CLASS I DON'T NEED TO BE TOLD THAT I'M BEHIND, I AM TRYING TO CATCH UP, NOW SHUT UP- and then we argue and yeah.
(little note: I hate being told things I already know, like it makes me so angry-)

I also have a school counsellor appointment in a few days, which my parents don't know about bc they disapprove of the school counsellors. The last time I went to the school counsellors office I almost cried and I stayed in there for almost an hour just talking about things, and I know counsellors are supposed to be there for you to tell everything you think is wrong but I feel like I'm going to be judged and it's like, so easy for me to vent ONLINE but talking about my problems IRL? That's a WHOLE other deal- My parents also don't really believe in mental health, which also means that I can't ask them to take me to get diagnosed for ASD and depression...

silk musk
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With depression at least, it can be diagnosed by your pediatrician, or at least I think that's how it was with me.

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Also, I don't think your school counsler will judge you. Think about it this way, for lack of better terms, your counselor is payed to listen to people yap about their school troubles and attempt to help out. You are doing the exact thing they are payed work with. They probably know better than any other adult at the school the troubles that students face at school. They are (hopfully) trained to spend there days listening to such conversations and between professionalism and just experience with a wide range of others, they shouldn't judge you.

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I’m sorry your parents can be such assholes sometimes, it honestly blows me away every time. They should be helping, they should be caring, THEY literally are the ones that decided they wanted you in their life, and yet they treat you like that. At the same time however, perhaps we should remember this. That there is so much reason for them to care for you, it should be acknowledged that anger is a reflection of many things. Chiefly, anger at another can often be a result of anger at oneself. Your parents want to see you succeed, and they hopefully are aware they are a key aspect. Unfortunately, however, this means that when they see you struggle, they see it as their failure to do their duty. Of course this is frustrating, and sometimes, with it being so hard to be angry at yourself, such anger can be redirected, in this case at you. No matter how much anger, frustration, maybe even hatred is being felt in your direction, somewhere, deep deep down, there is something beyond emotion, instinct, driving them to care.

dire bramble
dire bramble
silk musk