Life’s Amazing Tw:Sh and Death

[thorny sun]

I’ve been diagnosed with like terrible depression and anxiety (Including social anxiety) i lost my father recently like 2 years ago to a car accident. It’s affected me a lot and I’ve been at such low points where I did not leave my bed or care about my appearance.

I recently began Sh and it’s feel so good but the after affects are a nightmare my mum has seen my scars and she’s taken all sharp items out my room which is quite annoying since most of them are for my skin care. I’ve lied to many of my therapist about saying I haven’t sh in awhile and I don’t think I’ll ever tell them. It feels so nice and hate doing it with a passion which is super annoying. I’ve stopped for like a day and I feel so ashamed of doing it since it will be stuck to my skin for the rest of my life.

[pulsar aspen]

You know, I don’t even have the right words for how much this sucks — not in the dramatic way, just in the heavy and real way. There’s something so quietly brutal about grieving someone you loved and still being expected to keep functioning like nothing happened. Especially when it’s your dad. That kind of loss doesn’t fade easily. It shapes your days in weird, unfair ways.

And the way you talk about SH… yeah. That inner contradiction of “this helps” and “I hate that it helps” — that’s something so many people are too afraid to admit, even to themselves. But you did. That takes guts. Honestly. Even if you feel ashamed (which I wish you didn’t have to), the fact that you’re noticing that tug-of-war already means part of you wants a way out of it.

You’re not failing. You’re just hurting. And maybe that’s enough explanation for now.

I’m not gonna pretend to have a fix, but I care that you’re still here. If all I can do is be one person who doesn’t flinch when you say the hard stuff — then I’m here for that. No pressure to perform. Just someone quietly rooting for you from the sidelines.

[thorny sun]

You honestly have no idea how happy I am to hear what you said. Thank you ❤️

[pulsar aspen]

I'm really glad it reached you. Sometimes just being seen in the middle of all that pain can feel like the first real breath in a long time. You're carrying a lot — and the fact that you're still here, still speaking, still trying? That matters. You're not alone, and you never have to carry this all by yourself.