have to micromanage my 41 year old mother like a father does to a child

[deft finch]

shes an ex drinker, but she's "trying" to come off it. the other week she had an episode which then in turn caused a whole argument of the estates around us, putting my friend, brother and sister in law in harms way. last week i had to call an ambulance because she had an episode because her toenail was severed and her foot was covered in blood. i am 17 and i cannot deal with this shit. this has been since i broke my hip in august, and it has been every two weeks. she always ignores her triggers, and whenever she has money going TOWARD an episode, she buys the same cheap vodka. everyone tells me "not to worry" but i cant.

and not only do i not get appreciated for it, but I GET BLAMED for putting her into episodes. example, i went mute for some stress reason, and i was blamed for doing that to cause the episode last week.

[wild sage]

I'm really sorry you're carrying all of this, and it's honestly a lot for someone your age to manage. You're in an incredibly tough situation, and it sounds like your mother is going through a lot of her own struggles while you're trying to hold everything together. Having to play the role of the parent and micromanage someone who's supposed to be looking after you is just so unfair.

You don’t deserve to be blamed for her actions or put in the position of having to control everything around you. It’s clear you’re doing your best to handle her episodes, but it’s important to remember that you're not responsible for her choices or behavior. This situation isn’t your fault. You're not her caretaker, and you shouldn’t have to bear the emotional weight of her struggles like this.

It's also really important to acknowledge that your own mental and emotional well-being matter too. This stress and blame will wear you down, and you deserve to have support and understanding from the people around you, not to be blamed or made to feel like you're the cause of the problems. Have you had a chance to reach out to anyone outside your family for support? It might help to talk to someone who can offer advice or guidance, whether it’s a therapist or a trusted adult. You deserve to have someone in your corner.

You're doing the best you can, and that’s more than enough. Please don't forget to take care of yourself.

[deft finch]

in regards to the last part, about someone outside the family, they're always saying "shes old enough to deal with it" and i know thats true, but as i last stated, i cant just NOT help her. i know things like her being a grown ass adult sort of make it strange to look at, but its not like i can just stop, shes MY mother, and nobody else seems to help.