im sorry i know im overreacting about this
#tw: selfharm, su1c1de
glossy wind
glossy wind
||i need my brain to shut up i need my brain to shut up i need my brain to shut up i dont want to think i dont want to feel i dont want to see i dont want to hear i dont want to move i want to be numb im sorry||
don't leave me don't leave me don't leave me please im begging this server is my family at this point and i dont even want to think about what would happen if i saw myself banned for whatever reason one day please im sorry dont leave me
tribal pagoda
Inf, you're never too young or too old to ask for help, please seek professional help, not that I don't want to help, I wish I could, but I can't and it hurts, know that no one here hates you and we all care for you, I am here if you need to talk, just DM me and you can yap as much as you want, I may put up a tough front but no matter what happens I will be here for you
Sometimes life hurts and it's okay, but never, ever, ever make a permanent decision for something that is temporary, dying won't help you in any way
And if you did die, all that you already suffered and tried so hard to change, would just be wasted, don't let all of this go to waste, hold on and try again and again, I know you are an amazing person and a really cool friend
@glossy wind <3
tribal pagoda
short mountain
hello infinite
two things to start, i have had the mental health forum muted for basically the entire time its existed, and i am fairly distant from this server as things have stood for the last ~15 months
people really care about you here and even though i am hardly in this server ever, almost never responding to anything more serious than the average joke in the main chats, when it was brought up to me that this thread exists i had to say my piece
people like you and i are not good at accepting people's help, but many people here genuinely want to help you in whatever limited ways they can, even if they are acutely aware there is only so much they can do over a screen
im not a professional or in any position to give real tangible advice, but i have been dealing with my friends' suicidal ideation since i was 15 years old
i've done this song and dance enough times to tell you suicide is really not the answer no matter how desperate it feels
even if it takes the silliest reason on earth to convince you to live long enough to reach sunnier days, its worth it
i cant speak to your personal situation at home or in school. truthfully theres a lot of stuff where im kind of in the dark
if you have anybody you can talk to in person, any friends to confide in, i think you should try, if you have any way of getting to therapy if you're not already in, i think you should try that as well
if thats not an option, your friends here are still waiting for you, even if it may not feel like enough
but trust me, as someone who has friends who attempted in high school, you will reach better days, better friends, a better life
all of them have done it, gotten further than i ever could, even if they never thought they could
14 is much too young to be thinking about going and reading this thread made me very sad
please keep going even if it feels miserable right now
for your own sake, for the sake of those who care about you, i hope you feel better soon buddy
theres only so much i can say and do but i'd like it if you stuck around, y'know?
take care inf
and if u do end up responding please do ping me because i will not see it otherwise
ripe oracle
i dont really have the right words like bup here but i do want you to know i for one care about you and am rooting for you and i wish you had the proper means to resources you need
if theres ever anything i can do im all ears, we love you dude
glossy wind
thank you both of you (@short mountain here's your ping)
im trying to hold on but stuff's piling up and up right now. and yesterday's incident just kind of pushed it over the limit. but i'm doing my best
love yall <3 /p
short mountain
you got this and we got you champ
glossy wind
||i used to be better i used to be better i used to be able to hold more meaningful conversations even if they were interpolated with the regretevator nonsense i used to be able to remain serious why what happened for me to be like this why why||
glossy wind
||i need to stop being so anxious i need to shut my brain up why am i like this why am i like this why cant my brain shut up please i need it to shut up for once i need to knock myself out and sleep for a few days straight i need everything to shut up i need to shut myself away i need to isolate myself i need to know what caused me to be like this i need to find out what the fuck happened for me to end up as this abomination||
||is it my fault or was i always supposed to be like this||
||please who even am i at this point what happened to the cheerful extroverted boy i used to be why cant i just be who i used to be im falling apart and i know it but i cant do anything about it please||
glossy wind
||i care i care i care about every single thing and thought about me i get so scared that someone thinks bad stuff about me i need to improve i need to stop being like this i can't be like this why why why||