cold ember
my whole family is christian besides my dad.
it’s so fucking stressful living here on a daily basis with my christian family because everything is centered around jesus or god which i don’t live for, im NOT a christian, i dont want to live for him. i do believe god exists but trying to live for god is really stressful and taking a toll on my health. i always feel like a disappointment to my family since im the only one besides my dad who doesn’t live for god. sometimes i really debate on || killing myself || because i’m not good enough. i’ve || cut myself before || to make myself feel better knowing i’m deserving of this (still do it to this day) just because i’m not christian. i want to be my own person and have my own choices, my own sexuality, not forced into sone straight marriage with a random guy i dont like since i’m not even really for relationships or men. all of this just really makes me wanna || kill myself and i have attempted to hang myself before pretty recently, but i got too scared since i couldn’t breathe. (obviously) || i don’t know what to do anymore, idk how my family will react if i tell them. i don’t wanna call anyone, text anyone, for help because i never know what’ll happen.
pseudo plover