might have to leave

[normal jasper]

My parents have decided that after I just bought a new phone that I’ve had it too good and are installing an app that watches everything I do online. I am absolutely devastated and expected at least some decency from them.
It is wrong to spy on your child no matter what excuse you come up with. I have tried telling them anything to make them realize what they’re doing is wrong but they are only mad at me for it.
I’ve had it with how I’m treated by my own parents here and I think there are only three solutions. Either I leave social media entirely, I ||kill myself|| or I try to somehow get another family. I don’t want to do any of these things but on top of that my parents are anti-lgbt so I have every reason here to get away from them. I just need someone to tell me something, that I’m right or wrong, or what to do, or fucking anything right now.

[prisma timber]

you could use the website version of discord

[split coral]

Please don't try to hurt yourself... your situation is sucky but you could always either come back or make a new account later... I'm sorry shit's so awful with your family

You definitely deserve better

[normal jasper]

I wish it was that easy but another thing is the app can’t access Discord on iOS because surprise surprise, Discord doesn’t think this behavior from parents is right either. I coincidentally have an Apple phone so I’m kind of safe here.

[normal jasper]

I cannot survive the next 3 years with my parents and I don’t know what I can do to keep myself sane.

[split coral]

I got around it (very different reasons why my family banned me on discord) by using computers

Usually library or school if I could get away with it

[normal jasper]

Alright but in no way can I get around this, let alone for 3 years. I don’t know what to do and am going absolutely mental right now.

[split coral]

Idk

I'm just giving ideas based on my past experience

Cuz I can relate, it was a heartbreaking thing for me too and I couldn't live without it so my stubborn ass made other accounts and did whatever I could to get around it, lol

Those were the ways I used

[normal jasper]

I mean I do have other Google accounts and stuff

[split coral]

Use them for it if you want

Just stay safe and hidden as you can would be my advice

[normal jasper]

Update:
My mother has just started yelling at me and told me she was crying in her room because I told her it was inhumane to spy on your child’s private information. I told her for the past few hours I’ve been crying and having dark thoughts and you know what she did? She didn’t try to comfort me, she didn’t try to help me through this, and she didn’t drop it because my mental health was getting worse. She slammed the door after saying “I’m done” and that broke me. In the past 30 minutes I don’t know what came over me but I have devised the perfect plan to run away. My girlfriend’s house is 11 hours by foot to get to. If I pack one- maybe two small meals I’ll possibly survive the walk. Then I can just live there because my parents would never think to look there. Please tell me that this is wrong so I don’t do it but if not I probably will.

[split coral]

Wow, some great mother she is /sar

[normal jasper]

Also my brother is the greatest person in the world. He came in while I was crying and said “How about those shits.” gave me a peanut butter popsicle and we laughed at some analog horror videos on YouTube which is something we used to do together a lot.

[split coral]

That's nice

A little something to lighten the mood and help you feel better

[prisma timber]

how polite of him, also uh.. a peanut butter popsicle?

[split coral]

That does sound weird, I agree

[normal jasper]

Peanut Butter and Greek Yogurt frozen into a popsicle mold
Covered in chocolate :D

Also, yes very polite of my brother to call my parents shit
At least he was being honest

[normal jasper]

Horror is so relaxing to me
especially when I’ve got someone else to watch it with on the off chance I get scared

[prisma timber]

ironic how horror comforts you

[normal jasper]

Everyone calls me a psychopath for thinking horror is comforting

they’re right :3

[prisma timber]

no you just ate opposite day is all

[split coral]

Fair enough, I also like horror

[split coral]

Long as it doesn't make you want to hurt people or something, should be fine

[true kindle]

Parents want their child to be successful in terms of money and something that they wanted but could not achieve in their prime age ( could be more money, fame, a successful business, etc. )

So they expect their children to do it for them as a token of respect/goodwill. Hence they are keeping you in moderation so you don't fall into bad habits ( like drugs, cyber bullying etc. )

Use social media as usual, play video games as usual. They won't stop you or say anything unless you are caught scrolling through random girl videos for long time or watching ||p * rn tbh ||
They are concerned about you! ❤️

[hot hearth]

its one thing to be concerned and another to spy on your kids

[true kindle]

They will automatically shut down that spy app once they are sure that he isn't fallen into bad habits

[prisma timber]

they abused him before

[true kindle]

might take few weeks or a month

[hot hearth]

its more controlling than helpful

[true gate]

in the future, don’t bypass automod please. terms are blocked for a reason.

[normal jasper]

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt for not knowing but I’ve been verbally abused all my life and being concerned is different than invading privacy of a human being. Also my parents are anti-lgbt and would likely kick me out of the house for not having a gender or not feeling sexual attraction or even supporting this community so I have much reason to be worried.

[split coral]

True, true

If I lived close enough and was in a position to offer, I'd gladly let you stay with me for as long as you needed

[small nacelle]

You cannot be more right than this you already are. It was wrong of your parents to install this app and invade your privacy at such extent. And you're absolutely right; it was wrong to spy on your own child regardless of the reason you made for it. You should at least own a right to your own privacy, and I'm appalled that your parents didn't realize this. Is there any chance of you being able to move out in the near future?

[normal jasper]

In the next 3 years yeah 😭

[small nacelle]

That's great! :D At least you'll be on your own in the future. I know it's quite a long wait until you do, but at least that way you can get away from your parents and their wrongdoings as much as you can. Hang on there as much as you can, okeh?

[normal jasper]

I’ll try but my sanity is dripping downhill by the second in the same house as these people. Just knowing you all care about me is helping but I don’t know what I can do to make it fully through this.

[small nacelle]

Yes, I understand that it must be difficult to even be around them knowing what they have done to you. That feeling of helplessness does drain your emotional state. But I just want you to remember how you've survived so far. Think of the future. How you'll be able to leave their place and find their freedom.

[normal jasper]

Yeah, I guess I can count the last 15 years as a win.

[normal jasper]

Update:
I woke up and started throwing axes at our backyard target (they’re not real axes) and my mother comes outside and demands I talk to her. Excuse me but I already tried talking to you, and doing it now will make my mental health even worse. I think I need to detox myself from her so I tell her I don’t feel like I could right now and she slams the door again. I don’t think she has any reason to be mad, she brought this broken relationship onto herself.

[small nacelle]

That's really good that you didn't! It is your decision whether or not to talk to her as you've tried talking to her prior and it brought no good. She is the only one at fault. Don't let her gaslight you into thinking otherwise. :D

[normal jasper]

Update:
I didn’t get to eat dinner yesterday, and I didn’t eat breakfast or lunch today either. I feel like I’m gonna die of starvation so I make a grilled cheese. My dad walks in and says “Well I guess he doesn’t need dinner-“ like what the actual fuck I’ve been starving and now I’m the victim for making a small sandwich?? Anyways this might be my only meal so might as well post it for fun :D

[split coral]

Well, I'm sorry you have such a shitty family... I hope that you at very least enjoy your grilled cheese

[normal jasper]

I am the grilled cheese MASTER
I’m not sure why but I’m not even that mad anymore like
I have my grilled cheese and they can’t do anything to Discord which is where I spend most of my time so until I see some real shitty stuff happen I’m chilling 🤣

[split coral]

Fair enough, same with me tbh

My Mom says I make the best grilled cheeses

I'm always asked to make them for my brothers' lunches, especially if they see me working on my own xD

[normal jasper]

Update, and might be the last one for a while:
My parents pulled my sleep-deprived ass up at 9:30 PM today to tell me that me wanting to distance myself from them to better my mental health is wrong, and they're now taking away my phone for 2 weeks. I am told that them invading my privacy is justified because they're my biological parents and they have dictation over me. I tell them how I feel about my trust issues and they blow it off without a word. I tell them i've been getting depression from these trust issues and voices in my head and they act as if I have no reason to. I could've ran away. I had a full plan ready and my phone still with me to pull up directions to anywhere safe I could've gone but- I didn't. Somehow my dumbass brain can't just leave my parents even with all the shit i've been through.

If I call a lifeline I get taken away from my parents, but you tell me not to get away from my parents?

[split coral]

Well, at least it's only 2 weeks... I'm really sorry this is happening to you, still. I hope that things don't get too out of hand

[small nacelle]

Gosh :'C This feels extremely toxic. And it's saddening that you didn't run away, with the chance open for you. I don't blame you though at all. This is an extremely difficult position you're in, I know you feel hopeless and it seems like there's no way out but please trust me there is.

[normal jasper]

Update:
My parents are trashing my iOS phone (aka. the only phone that lets me talk to you guys under their radar) and getting me a different one that has no restrictions, and they're using MY MONEY to buy it. I might delete my Discord account if this goes through, and I really want to run away but my girlfriend broke up with me recently after I went off the grid due to my parents and I don't have anywhere to go anymore. I'm in a terrible state right now and really need some help from anyone.

[prisma timber]

i hate to give this kind of advice, but if you haven't already, you'll have to try your hardest to convince them to leave you alone and let yourself live however you want to live, what they're doing isn't right even if they're your biological parents, they shouldn't have to be this fucking strict on their child, it's wrong to spy on anyone no matter who you are, i dont recommend this option but i'm really scared for you, im sorry you had to grow up with shitty parents, i really hope they realize how wrong this is, they shouldn't treat you like this at all, i really hope they just stop.

[normal jasper]

I want to fucking kill myself. My brother, the only person who has been nice to me in months, just told me my friends left me for a reason and that I deserve to die. Context: I was kicked from the friend group I was in for 2 years, all because my best friend thought I had a crush on her in which at the time I HAD KNOWN I WAS ACE and she decided to convince everyone else I was some weirdo and ghost me. Death doesn't seem too bad rn.

[split coral]

Damn, that's a toxic ass brother and I'm sorry. Please don't take your life, I'm really sorry life hurts rn

[blazing gale]

One word. Terrible parenting. And also, they are seeing you as an product, that they can interrupt your boundaries. Don't call them your parent, beacuse they don't see you as their child. If they acknowledged you as an human being, they would respect your boundaries and wishes.

[normal jasper]

I already identify as an orphan

I think I have for a while now

plus changing my legal name is an option I have later down the line

[blazing gale]

You're so ex-parents has severe lacking when it comes to sympathy. Nobody would like it if someone didn't respect their boundaries, but they clearly seeing you as their product rather than anything else.

That's terrible and sick

[normal jasper]

Imagine if they could get onto my Discord, aka the only place i've ever come out in

i'd be legit dead, just executed

[blazing gale]

Did you contact child support or any government stuff for abusive parents? Try that. We have one here, they help with that stuff.